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One Step At A Time

Tonight's blog post is brought to you by bipolar depression. I really been struggling lately with my mood. I've been down, depressed, and trying to isolate. All things that I know aren't good for me. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2006 after being in the mental health realm for 5 long years and not having answers. Don't get me wrong my therapist was and still is great. She helped get me through the darkest times in my life. Times when I didn't have a good psychiatrist that really knew how to help me. I had been on so many different psych meds that I think I honestly tried almost all of them. I went from hospitalization to hospitalization just managing to survive. Sometimes I barely did that. I've had so many diagnoses that I make the DSM look calm. When I was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder things started making sense. I found a great psychiatrist who really helped me. He got me on the right course of medication and things started looking up for me. I do go through down times though and right now is one of those down times. I do have a very supportive husband who stuck by me when honestly, he probably should have left. I have a great kid in spite of what he had to go through as a small child with a mother that didn't want to live anymore. I have it good. I guess I need to focus on the positive things in life instead of the negative ones or the ones that are not so sure right now. I'm trying. I'll get by, one day at a time. That's what life with a mental disorder is. One day at a time. So, one step in front of the other I will pull myself out of this funk, and be content again. It would help if we got back in church. That is something I miss. We had a great church before we moved up here and I really really miss it. I feel like that is the one piece of the puzzle we haven't gotten put in place since moving half way across the state this past summer. Church helps give me direction and helps me to focus more on the positives. Reading my Bible and staying connected with God is more difficult when I am not in church. My family needs to be in church. My son definitely needs to be in church. There are so many things pulling kids in all different directions these days. And I worry about him. He's my world and I need him to be happy. He hasn't been happy since we moved and uprooted him from all he knew. I feel guilty about that. Really guilty. But it's time to do something. This Wednesday I will take him to youth group even if my husband doesn't get off of work in time to go with us. It's time to get this family back in order. One step at a time.

Trying Again

I'm trying this again. I want to blog. Mostly for me to help get thoughts out of my head and maybe help with the things I am struggling with. I also want to share my daily life with you. If you find it interesting then I hope you will stick around. If not I won't be offended. My life is not out of the ordinary, but I do have a lot going on. Maybe I can reach some people that the experiences of my life will help, or at least let them know that they are not alone. I will be blogging about all kinds of things ranging from family life, living with bipolar disorder, what is going on with my health, wellness, and weight loss, knitting, friends, and who knows what else. Hopefully it will be interesting. Hopefully it will be humorous at times, and hopefully you will just enjoy reading it.

This is my world. My two favorite people on the planet. They make life fun, interesting, and full of joy (well sometimes they are a pain but I really do love them!)